Life & Lemons

Never before, has change bin so essential in my life, wouldnt it be nice to say,

Everyday wasnt a constant battle, everytime, a different price to pay,

people usually look at the sun in the mornin, an can say "its a new day",

but i see it as, more opportunities to try to slow me down, in a new way...

ive bin dealin with such dark clouds over my head, for such a long time now,

that when ever the sun comes out, i donno how to act, when it shines now,

im thankful for who i became, an i embrace this life of mine now,

im just hopin that ONE DAY, ill stop wishing i can live life in rewind now...

tryin to hold on to days filled with love,

an wonderful people that i begged for protection over there lifes to up above,

but they all left, an unfortunate things happened, now my life of pics is stuck on a thumb tac,

stuck, goin half crazy, wonderin if those wonderful days will ever come back...

i snapped my finger, an i went from a boy to a man,

forced to stand on my own two feet, an thought me early, how to provide when i can,

i just wanted to be like everyone else,  an no matter how hard i tried, but it would never happen,

started early with the weed smokin, alcohol drinkin, gangs an rappin...

i never had the same thoughts as my pares,

i wasnt the one you could ask to reveal my fears,

ive bin tru so much, ive never bin a man scared to ever reveal my tears,

no one's supposed to see you cry is what my moms told me tho, so i hold it in, for years...

lost close friends on there own special birthday celebrations,

i watched people i grow to love, suddenly play games of elimination,

ive watched people i trusted with everything, make me the dummy for trustin them,

so many women that lied, only because of the level of lust in them...

ive always waited for someone that would show me love, just like i would show to them,

an in all my years, very few has stuck, the rest i guess just didnt have enuff love in them,

an if we're on the same page, you would never have to question if im just another thug or friend,

an imma nice guy, an if i love you, to protect you, ill be a thug til the end...

an thank God that life is hard for me,

cuz if he took it e-z on me this whole time, i would have a whole different life story,

an as bad it sounds, an harsh to say,

but just keep my hurt an pain days comin, im love with the pain anyway...

i drink, an smoke, to ease the pain,

i think alot, so sometimes, to slow down, i smoke good to ease the brain,

just call me the misunderstood, cuz imma good guy, 

but they point an say, no matter what i try, that he's insane...

imma product of my environment, cut from a different cloth,

i was born different, like thinkin differently, was made with its own different sport,

the playground, the arena, with its own different court,

with its own set of rules, i think when its time for me to be done, God is gon stick me with a whole different fork...

im makin the best out of this life of mine, even tho im considered rebel or renegade,

i just think differently from the next man, from the rich, to penny wage,

im the bad guy, tryin to do good, an get me payed over here,

cuz when life gives you lemons, lets jus say, im makin lemonade over here...